Surrogacy is a family-building option that offers hope and joy to many people who are unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy on their own. Surrogacy involves a person who agrees to carry a pregnancy for another person or couple, who will become the legal parent(s) of the child after birth. Surrogacy can be a complex and emotional process, but also a rewarding and fulfilling one for all parties involved.
However, throughout the history of surrogacy right up until today, it's often been misunderstood and disparaged by society, partly due to a lack of accurate and respectful terminology. One of the most common and problematic terms used in surrogacy is “surrogate mother”. This term implies that the woman who carries the pregnancy is the biological and/or social mother of the child, which is not the case in most surrogacy arrangements.
Kirsty Horsey is a Professor of Law at the University of Kent. Her long-term research interest focuses on the laws regulating surrogacy. According to a study carried out by Professor Horsey, published in the journal Reproductive BioMedicine Online, “there has never been a time when surrogacy has generated so many headlines or research articles”.
Yet despite this high interest in surrogacy generally, when we look to Google's Trends tool, we see that while “surrogate mother” is still a popular search term in 2024, it's been on a clear downward trend in recent years.
Continue reading to understand why the concept of “surrogate motherhood” is outdated, why the term “surrogate mother” is inaccurate, and what are some more appropriate terms we can use instead.
Types of surrogacy
There are two main types of surrogacy: gestational and traditional. The difference between them lies in the genetic origin of the egg used to create the embryo.
Gestational surrogacy is the most common and widely accepted type of surrogacy. It involves an embryo that is created by in vitro fertilization (IVF) using the egg and sperm of the intended parent(s) or donor(s). The embryo is then transferred to the uterus of a gestational carrier, who has no genetic or biological relation to the child. The gestational carrier carries the pregnancy to term and delivers the child to the intended parent(s).
Traditional surrogacy is, these days, a less common form of surrogacy. What sets it apart from gestational surrogacy is that the egg is provided by the surrogate. This makes the surrogate a genetic and biological parent of the child, as well as the person who carries the pregnancy and delivers the child. This additional link to the child can make the process more emotionally complex for the surrogate in some cases, and is less straightforward legally. For these reasons, today very few surrogates and intended parents opt for this route to family creation.
Why “surrogate mother” is a misleading term
The term “surrogate mother” is often used to refer to both gestational and traditional surrogates, regardless of their genetic or biological relation to the child. However, this term is misleading and disrespectful for a number of reasons.
Firstly, it muddles the roles and relationships of the people involved in surrogacy. “Surrogate mother” suggests that the woman who carries the pregnancy is the mother of the child, which is not quite true in gestational surrogacy, and many would argue that it's not the case either in traditional surrogacy, unless we're speaking purely in biological terms without any of the other characteristics of motherhood which come to mind. The phrase also diminishes the role and identity of the intended parent(s), who are the legal and social parent(s) of the child from the start.
On top of that, it disregards the wishes and preferences of the people involved in surrogacy. The expression “surrogate motherhood” may not reflect how the woman who carries the pregnancy feels about her role and relationship to the child. Some women may feel comfortable being called a “surrogate mother”, while others may prefer a different term that does not imply a maternal bond. Likewise, the term may not reflect how the intended parent(s) feel about their role and relationship to the child. Some parents may be fine with calling the woman who carries their unborn child a “surrogate mother”, while others may find it offensive or hurtful.
“Gestational carriers reject the term. They say that they are pursuing surrogacy because they want to make someone ELSE a mother or parent.” — Dr. Deborah Simmons, PhD
Dr. Deborah Simmons is an expert in infertility counseling, including psychoeducation for donor eggs, donor sperm and surrogacy, she received a PhD in family social science from the University of Minnesota, and is co-owner of partners (in)fertility in Minneapolis. According to her, the term conflicts with the very purpose of gestational surrogacy. “Gestational carriers reject the term. They say that they are pursuing surrogacy because they want to make someone ELSE a mother or parent.” As well as disregarding the surrogate's wishes, Dr. Simmons points out that male same-sex couples feel alienated by the term because it is they who will raise their child, as two fathers.
What are preferred terms to use instead of “surrogate mother”
Instead of saying “surrogate mother”, there are other terms that are more accurate and respectful to use in surrogacy. These terms may vary depending on the type of surrogacy, the context of the conversation, and the preferences of the people involved. Some of the preferred terms are:
Gestational carrier or gestational surrogate. These terms are used to refer to a woman who carries a pregnancy for another person or couple using an embryo that is not genetically related to her. These terms emphasize the fact that the woman who carries the pregnancy is not the biological mother of the child, and that she is providing a service or a gift to the intended parent(s).
Traditional surrogate. This term is used to refer to a woman who carries a pregnancy for another person or couple using her own egg and the sperm of the intended father or a donor. This term acknowledges the fact that the woman who carries the pregnancy is the genetic and biological mother of the child, but also that she is not the legal or social mother of the child. This term also distinguishes this type of surrogacy from gestational surrogacy, which has different legal and ethical implications.
Notes
We use the term woman to describe surrogates in this article as in our experience, the vast majority of surrogates identify as women. But we acknowledge that not every person who can carry a pregnancy identifies as female.